My Thanks to a Great Brother who talked with me yesterday. I needed that!

Please accept this gift... (video)

  I don't live in a city, so I don't see homeless people as readily as those who live in the city do.  But, in a recent discussion with my parents' neighbor, and remember this is in an incredibly small town in Northern Michigan, I came to find out that there is a large number of kids of the public school who are homeless.  Now, in a town of less than 1300 people, homelessness should not happen!  But, it's all over, and it will simply blow your mind.  It did mine.
  But, this post isn't about homelessness.    It's about humility, and this video shows the point so very well.  Humility is the art of allowing your heart to be open.  To being willing to see that there is more to the rainbow in front of us than the very strict color we see, the definition we declare, or the principles to which we adhere.
  I have known some who are very staunchly religious, and others who are very staunchly against religion.  Personally, I think both are very miserable people.  I find that I have no idea what is after death, what comes after we fade, and can only hope that some of the very best ideas of the religions of man are somehow true.  Robin Williams did a movie in 1988 about the things that come to us after death called "What Dreams May Come".  It seemed to bomb, mostly I think because of the fact that it made the audience think and see things differently.  In fact, I think it really exemplified a humble person in Robin Williams' character.  And, before you ask me how we got on this side of the topic, I think a great many of the very religious people, specifically what I call "Bible Thumpers" and Sister Betterthanyou, have so seriously missed the concept of humility and would be aghast at what Jesus Christ would say in this incidence.
  One of my larger struggles in life is that I all too often close myself to others.  I know this is going to come as a surprise... ahem, cough.... but people who have hurt often find it far better for them to build a wall around that hurt.  On occasion, we may show off the hurt, sort of a display window in the wall, but make no mistake I keep that wall there.  I keep that hurt safe.  And, as a result, I foster that cancer in the heart of my being, protecting it and moving my life around it.
Being so distracted by this, it is then a much easier thing to find that which works for me and declare it "right".  Being "right" allows me to stand a bit higher despite the shadow of that walled cancerous hurt.  I get to focus on the little things, on being right about the small things... I think someone referred it as "moving the deck chairs on the Titanic"; it won't really accomplish anything, but it all looks better now, and in all of that I miss the idea of humility because I am so caught up in being "right" in whatever I can manage.
  So, as I've said, humility is the true message of this video, I think.  As a practice, it is an art, a confusion of focus and unfocused being.  It is the art of standing in the rain for no other reason than to feel the rain upon you, and not being proud of yourself for being willing to feel the rain.  Humility is the art of being you, being an experiencing human in whatever environment we find ourself, and allowing ourself to be free in that environment.

A bit of Chaos in a Well Ordered Life

Hello All;

  I've come to very much value what I call my "well ordered life".  I like to live quietly, to find serenity in the routine and normal order of things.  For instance, I really enjoy mowing lawns.  There is something fulfilling to me in the way that effort neatens and makes the lawn beautiful.  Ok... ocd much?  I can hear you saying it.  But, simple pleasures, right?
  Still, I like things simple.  And, I am actively pursuing that.  I've been studying what it will take to exit this rat race of a life I now lead.... go to work/go home/sleep/go to work.... it seems it never ends and I really get very little out of my work in the way of real satisfaction other than making enough money to continue doing it.  There must be more to life than that, right?  I know I've mentioned this before on the blog, my dream to retire early to some inexpensive place where I can be free.  I told my father that I want to own enough land that I can go outside to put the trash in the bin without putting my pants on first.  That, my friends, is great freedom.  Simple dreams....  Simple dreams....
  Recently,  I was talking on the phone with my friend from work.  He is in his 50's and starting a new life with a much younger bride and two very small children of around 4 years of age.  As we are talking, he says quite matter-of-factly "No Evan, do not tie the cat's tails together" to his son and we continue talking. Well, he continued talking, I was laughing uncontrollably.
 
  And, so.... I offer this prayer to you all:  May you each find your well ordered life liberally sprinkled with what ever chaos makes you laugh.

 

A True Celebration of our Independence Day

Hello Friends;
  I saw this post and it struck a thought.  Lucky shot, I guess... who knew they were there?  But, please watch:

Ok....   So, here is my thought:   A true celebration of Independence Day is when we can sit comfortable knowing that all in America are free.  In this above link, the focus was on the Black Americans, but, there are also those who have struggled to be equal... the LGBT, Poor and Poverty Stricken, Sick.  

  I'm not a socialist, believing that we should all be given a free ride.  I work very hard.  But, I also don't believe that our people should suffer in hunger because s/he is unable to find work, disease because despite hard work and living in a great country health care is incredibly unaffordable, or be considered less than or perverted for sexual attractions/identity that doesn't fit what others declare the proper norm.  Let us all be free, let us look upon the Fourth of July and know that we can hold our head high.  That would be a True Independence Day for America!

What's in a Flag?

Good Morning All:
  Long time, no post.  I've had a rough go of things for a while.  Sorry.  My work has been stressful enough that I've not been sleeping and have had stomach aches.  I was ready to simply quit, to walk away from my career and something I'd put a lot of literal blood, sweat and tears into.  Thankfully, it all came to a head this week and things will be changing for the better.  I hope.

Having said that, please allow me to come to my next blog post.  Symbols.

Flags are the internationally recognized symbol of a country.  They are the symbol of all that makes a country great, all that gives pride and ownership for those who see the country as their own.  Conversely, it is used then as a symbol of the country when those who strongly disagree with actions taken by that country.  No, I'm not talking about the Confederate Flag, the so called Stars and Bars, I'm talking of the United States of America flag.  For some, this is an extremely powerful symbol, and the mere idea of changing that symbol, of using that symbol in part or by whole to mean other things becomes quite offensive.  I disagree.

While some see this symbol and view it as an adulteration and abuse of the American Flag and all that it stands for, I see it as a beautiful thing.  In this flag, I see the true unity that has been missing from our country for years.  UNITED being the operative word, but for the lgbt community, we have been ostracized and scorned, abused and disowned, hated and deviled, for no other reason than loving someone differently than those in power believe right and proper.
  The American flag is supposed to indicate liberty, freedom, and yet we in the lgbt community are asked to pay our taxes like everyone else but hide our passion, hide who we love and be dismissed as making poor choices in a skewed love life.  This Rainbow Flag declares that we are truly part of this country, not some dark secret sect, and that we are free.  To me, this is a very powerful symbol.

The more I thought, the nearer I was to tears.

Good Afternoon;

  I was doing just a bit of surfing before heading out to get some work done.  It's a beautiful day here today:  The sounds of birds singing is coming through my open door as I type this, along with the very homey sound of a neighbor mowing his lawn, children playing in the street, and even the sounds of traffic going down the near by highway - an sort of unwelcome sound, but a constant low hum even miles away.  Then I see this picture and I can't not voice the ache in my soul:

  Just for a minute, consider this:  Here is a little girl, just four years old.  In her short life, she has known violence to the point that when someone points something at her she assumes it is a gun and she is doing everything she can to show she is not doing anything threatening and therefore worthy to be shot.

  I don't know what sort of real validity this picture holds.  Maybe this is a fake.  Got me.  But, what I see is the Very Real Likelihood that it is quite real, quite factual.  And somewhere is a little girl who knows way more about war and guns and violence in the name of some god or government or control freak than could ever be considered decent.  And, here I sit, on the other side of the world from her in my suburban home with the nice lawn and the trees that squirrels love to run about and twitch their jaunty little fuzzy tails at my goofy dog who would SO LOVE to get much much closer to said cheeky squirrel, with the knowledge that my governmental leaders appear quite eager to continue that sort of education for this little one.

  So, now I have to go out, with work to do on my house that suddenly seems very trite, and try not to cry as her little sad face haunts me.

Been away

Hello All;
  I need to keep this short.  This week, I've had my parents staying with me while they attend family functions in the area.  There are good sides to this:  I do like my parents, so their company is nice to have.  Mom is a great cook.  They even did some chores for me - I think they were bored.  The down side is that it disrupts my already crazy schedule and gets me out of my routine.  Since I work nights, the graveyard shift, routine is important in order to have any hope of getting sleep.  I've not gotten much this week.
  The fun part of all of this:  I've had an extra long week at work.  I've worked over 60 hours at the night job and had three lawns this week that I just couldn't put off.
  So, yesterday, Saturday, after I finished some outdoor chores cleaning out the gutters and other yard work, I began a day long nap.  I slept in my chair off and on -- usually I would wake up enough to say "no, there's nothing wrong, I'm just tired" to the incessant "are you ok?"'s coming from Mom and Dad!!!    Finally, I went to bed.   Gracie curled up next to me.  Slept like a rock for 9 hours.  Two or three more of those, I think I'll be ready to face this new week....

I have this dream.  I want to retire in five years.  Sell the house, move to a northern part of Michigan with enough land that I can cut my own wood for winter heat, and for the most part live a more relaxed - less chasing the bills - type of life.  I've been in love with the concept of the tiny house movement for years.  I think my butt is far too big for that, but I do think that a smaller place that is efficient to heat and maintain while also inexpensive to build is the way to go.  When I look at my life, I don't really need a lot.  America seems to have lost the concepts of living minimally, and we want the big cars or trucks, the big homes, the big meals....   ok, I like the big trucks thing, and I really like the big meals thing.  But, is that really the best way for us to live?
  I want to have a garden that I have time to work and eat good food that isn't prepackaged in Chile.  I don't want to have to get up every day and go to work at a job I don't like, and that really seems to put more money in someone else's pocket than do much for my own.  I think I spend far too much of my salary paying taxes and paying for gas, food, and clothing I'll need to get to, eat at, and wear to work!!  I want time to look out at the morning sun and contemplate the universe, just for a few moments, with my hot coffee in hand and a dog terrorizing the local squirrels, hopefully not the skunks, and not be so old that I'm risking filling my Depends at the sight of it all.
   So, what sort of goals do you have?  Maybe you will inspire me??
hugs