My Thanks to a Great Brother who talked with me yesterday. I needed that!

Please accept this gift... (video)

  I don't live in a city, so I don't see homeless people as readily as those who live in the city do.  But, in a recent discussion with my parents' neighbor, and remember this is in an incredibly small town in Northern Michigan, I came to find out that there is a large number of kids of the public school who are homeless.  Now, in a town of less than 1300 people, homelessness should not happen!  But, it's all over, and it will simply blow your mind.  It did mine.
  But, this post isn't about homelessness.    It's about humility, and this video shows the point so very well.  Humility is the art of allowing your heart to be open.  To being willing to see that there is more to the rainbow in front of us than the very strict color we see, the definition we declare, or the principles to which we adhere.
  I have known some who are very staunchly religious, and others who are very staunchly against religion.  Personally, I think both are very miserable people.  I find that I have no idea what is after death, what comes after we fade, and can only hope that some of the very best ideas of the religions of man are somehow true.  Robin Williams did a movie in 1988 about the things that come to us after death called "What Dreams May Come".  It seemed to bomb, mostly I think because of the fact that it made the audience think and see things differently.  In fact, I think it really exemplified a humble person in Robin Williams' character.  And, before you ask me how we got on this side of the topic, I think a great many of the very religious people, specifically what I call "Bible Thumpers" and Sister Betterthanyou, have so seriously missed the concept of humility and would be aghast at what Jesus Christ would say in this incidence.
  One of my larger struggles in life is that I all too often close myself to others.  I know this is going to come as a surprise... ahem, cough.... but people who have hurt often find it far better for them to build a wall around that hurt.  On occasion, we may show off the hurt, sort of a display window in the wall, but make no mistake I keep that wall there.  I keep that hurt safe.  And, as a result, I foster that cancer in the heart of my being, protecting it and moving my life around it.
Being so distracted by this, it is then a much easier thing to find that which works for me and declare it "right".  Being "right" allows me to stand a bit higher despite the shadow of that walled cancerous hurt.  I get to focus on the little things, on being right about the small things... I think someone referred it as "moving the deck chairs on the Titanic"; it won't really accomplish anything, but it all looks better now, and in all of that I miss the idea of humility because I am so caught up in being "right" in whatever I can manage.
  So, as I've said, humility is the true message of this video, I think.  As a practice, it is an art, a confusion of focus and unfocused being.  It is the art of standing in the rain for no other reason than to feel the rain upon you, and not being proud of yourself for being willing to feel the rain.  Humility is the art of being you, being an experiencing human in whatever environment we find ourself, and allowing ourself to be free in that environment.

A bit of Chaos in a Well Ordered Life

Hello All;

  I've come to very much value what I call my "well ordered life".  I like to live quietly, to find serenity in the routine and normal order of things.  For instance, I really enjoy mowing lawns.  There is something fulfilling to me in the way that effort neatens and makes the lawn beautiful.  Ok... ocd much?  I can hear you saying it.  But, simple pleasures, right?
  Still, I like things simple.  And, I am actively pursuing that.  I've been studying what it will take to exit this rat race of a life I now lead.... go to work/go home/sleep/go to work.... it seems it never ends and I really get very little out of my work in the way of real satisfaction other than making enough money to continue doing it.  There must be more to life than that, right?  I know I've mentioned this before on the blog, my dream to retire early to some inexpensive place where I can be free.  I told my father that I want to own enough land that I can go outside to put the trash in the bin without putting my pants on first.  That, my friends, is great freedom.  Simple dreams....  Simple dreams....
  Recently,  I was talking on the phone with my friend from work.  He is in his 50's and starting a new life with a much younger bride and two very small children of around 4 years of age.  As we are talking, he says quite matter-of-factly "No Evan, do not tie the cat's tails together" to his son and we continue talking. Well, he continued talking, I was laughing uncontrollably.
 
  And, so.... I offer this prayer to you all:  May you each find your well ordered life liberally sprinkled with what ever chaos makes you laugh.

 

A True Celebration of our Independence Day

Hello Friends;
  I saw this post and it struck a thought.  Lucky shot, I guess... who knew they were there?  But, please watch:

Ok....   So, here is my thought:   A true celebration of Independence Day is when we can sit comfortable knowing that all in America are free.  In this above link, the focus was on the Black Americans, but, there are also those who have struggled to be equal... the LGBT, Poor and Poverty Stricken, Sick.  

  I'm not a socialist, believing that we should all be given a free ride.  I work very hard.  But, I also don't believe that our people should suffer in hunger because s/he is unable to find work, disease because despite hard work and living in a great country health care is incredibly unaffordable, or be considered less than or perverted for sexual attractions/identity that doesn't fit what others declare the proper norm.  Let us all be free, let us look upon the Fourth of July and know that we can hold our head high.  That would be a True Independence Day for America!

What's in a Flag?

Good Morning All:
  Long time, no post.  I've had a rough go of things for a while.  Sorry.  My work has been stressful enough that I've not been sleeping and have had stomach aches.  I was ready to simply quit, to walk away from my career and something I'd put a lot of literal blood, sweat and tears into.  Thankfully, it all came to a head this week and things will be changing for the better.  I hope.

Having said that, please allow me to come to my next blog post.  Symbols.

Flags are the internationally recognized symbol of a country.  They are the symbol of all that makes a country great, all that gives pride and ownership for those who see the country as their own.  Conversely, it is used then as a symbol of the country when those who strongly disagree with actions taken by that country.  No, I'm not talking about the Confederate Flag, the so called Stars and Bars, I'm talking of the United States of America flag.  For some, this is an extremely powerful symbol, and the mere idea of changing that symbol, of using that symbol in part or by whole to mean other things becomes quite offensive.  I disagree.

While some see this symbol and view it as an adulteration and abuse of the American Flag and all that it stands for, I see it as a beautiful thing.  In this flag, I see the true unity that has been missing from our country for years.  UNITED being the operative word, but for the lgbt community, we have been ostracized and scorned, abused and disowned, hated and deviled, for no other reason than loving someone differently than those in power believe right and proper.
  The American flag is supposed to indicate liberty, freedom, and yet we in the lgbt community are asked to pay our taxes like everyone else but hide our passion, hide who we love and be dismissed as making poor choices in a skewed love life.  This Rainbow Flag declares that we are truly part of this country, not some dark secret sect, and that we are free.  To me, this is a very powerful symbol.

The more I thought, the nearer I was to tears.

Good Afternoon;

  I was doing just a bit of surfing before heading out to get some work done.  It's a beautiful day here today:  The sounds of birds singing is coming through my open door as I type this, along with the very homey sound of a neighbor mowing his lawn, children playing in the street, and even the sounds of traffic going down the near by highway - an sort of unwelcome sound, but a constant low hum even miles away.  Then I see this picture and I can't not voice the ache in my soul:

  Just for a minute, consider this:  Here is a little girl, just four years old.  In her short life, she has known violence to the point that when someone points something at her she assumes it is a gun and she is doing everything she can to show she is not doing anything threatening and therefore worthy to be shot.

  I don't know what sort of real validity this picture holds.  Maybe this is a fake.  Got me.  But, what I see is the Very Real Likelihood that it is quite real, quite factual.  And somewhere is a little girl who knows way more about war and guns and violence in the name of some god or government or control freak than could ever be considered decent.  And, here I sit, on the other side of the world from her in my suburban home with the nice lawn and the trees that squirrels love to run about and twitch their jaunty little fuzzy tails at my goofy dog who would SO LOVE to get much much closer to said cheeky squirrel, with the knowledge that my governmental leaders appear quite eager to continue that sort of education for this little one.

  So, now I have to go out, with work to do on my house that suddenly seems very trite, and try not to cry as her little sad face haunts me.

Been away

Hello All;
  I need to keep this short.  This week, I've had my parents staying with me while they attend family functions in the area.  There are good sides to this:  I do like my parents, so their company is nice to have.  Mom is a great cook.  They even did some chores for me - I think they were bored.  The down side is that it disrupts my already crazy schedule and gets me out of my routine.  Since I work nights, the graveyard shift, routine is important in order to have any hope of getting sleep.  I've not gotten much this week.
  The fun part of all of this:  I've had an extra long week at work.  I've worked over 60 hours at the night job and had three lawns this week that I just couldn't put off.
  So, yesterday, Saturday, after I finished some outdoor chores cleaning out the gutters and other yard work, I began a day long nap.  I slept in my chair off and on -- usually I would wake up enough to say "no, there's nothing wrong, I'm just tired" to the incessant "are you ok?"'s coming from Mom and Dad!!!    Finally, I went to bed.   Gracie curled up next to me.  Slept like a rock for 9 hours.  Two or three more of those, I think I'll be ready to face this new week....

I have this dream.  I want to retire in five years.  Sell the house, move to a northern part of Michigan with enough land that I can cut my own wood for winter heat, and for the most part live a more relaxed - less chasing the bills - type of life.  I've been in love with the concept of the tiny house movement for years.  I think my butt is far too big for that, but I do think that a smaller place that is efficient to heat and maintain while also inexpensive to build is the way to go.  When I look at my life, I don't really need a lot.  America seems to have lost the concepts of living minimally, and we want the big cars or trucks, the big homes, the big meals....   ok, I like the big trucks thing, and I really like the big meals thing.  But, is that really the best way for us to live?
  I want to have a garden that I have time to work and eat good food that isn't prepackaged in Chile.  I don't want to have to get up every day and go to work at a job I don't like, and that really seems to put more money in someone else's pocket than do much for my own.  I think I spend far too much of my salary paying taxes and paying for gas, food, and clothing I'll need to get to, eat at, and wear to work!!  I want time to look out at the morning sun and contemplate the universe, just for a few moments, with my hot coffee in hand and a dog terrorizing the local squirrels, hopefully not the skunks, and not be so old that I'm risking filling my Depends at the sight of it all.
   So, what sort of goals do you have?  Maybe you will inspire me??
hugs

Story of my life

Let your day be full of dreams.  They may seem silly, but it's the reason for living!

A Change is Gonna Come

Hello my friends,

  I guess we all struggle with something, and I try to remember that as I go through my own rough patches.  Sometimes our own struggles seem to be all we can see, though.  And, so as I was sitting here, trying to figure out just what I could and couldn't do, I heard this song come on.

    This song has a tendency to force me to realize that my own problems are small in comparison with some others in this world.  But, It gives me great hope as well.   When this song was written and performed, hope was there for change but it was by no means a given for so many people.  As I look at things now, despite continuing struggles, great strides have come for black people in this country -- and I would argue for white people, too, because living a life of subjugation is no fun by far, but it is also very damaging to be subjugating others.  As a country, we have grown, and continue to do so.
  So, with that same hope, I look at those things that hammer at my mind and soul.  If I can only hang on, continue to be as smart as I can be, as level-headed as I can be, in time a change will come.

A question of interest

Hello All;

  Recently, my parents came up from Florida on their way to their home in northern Michigan, stopping at my home for a visit.  I mentioned that in a prior post.  What I didn't mention is the change in television programming in the Randy household.
  To be honest, if it weren't for their occasional visits, I'd likely drop the television portion of my way overpriced cable/internet package.  I so very rarely have the tv on, it's more typically a surprise to see what is on tv now.  And, what I found when their interests were allowed access to the remote control was a lot of shows about gun violence in one form or another.  I thought that very interesting.
  Now, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the occasional shoot-'em-up action show.  But, I was really surprised by the number of times a character matter-of-factly pulled out a weapon and pulled the trigger.
  There was a research project done in the '70's showing kids violent programs on television and then observing their play afterward.  I won't bother with a link, it's famous enough for a simple google search.  The point found was that violence observed in the children's entertainment very likely to find violence observed following in their play.  Of course, there is a huge difference between kids and adults.  Adults are bigger and have access to more weapons....
  So, in truth, the question that comes to my mind is this:  are the shows so prevelent on tv right now that incorporate violence as a simple matter plot and normalcy influencing the rise in violence in our culture?  Or, is the rise in violence in our culture mirrored by the things we find interesting and entertaining and therefor financially lucrative to television programmers?

  I can't help but to remember my favorite shows in the '80's growing up.  Family Ties with Alex P. Keaton (Michael Fox).  Cheers with Sam Malone - who now portrays a CSI person who investigates horrific murders.  Cosby show.... which had absolutely nothing to do with guns.   Now, were there shows that did?  sure.   Blossom.  Give Me a Break, with Nell Carter. Even Hill Street Blues didn't show the guns all that often!

  So, here is my second question:  If the things we saw as interesting, entertaining and exciting were shows about life, love, hope, happiness, mystery, etc., would our society be different or would we be so drawn to the shows that were about violence and guns that the networks would go broke?
 

Needs to be seen

I find this uncomfortable

Why is it that these two look so similar to me?

Welcome to 2015

Ok, I know, odd way to start a post in early May.  It's not like it's a New Year's post.  But, sort of a welcome to the present day, for me at least.

As you may or may not have noticed, depending on if you were here before, I've not posted in a few days.  My parents came up from Florida on their way to the great white north, completing their annual migratory travels of fleeing winter and then fleeing the melt down that comes with Florida in the summer.  So, they stopped here for a few days, which brings about a few activities.  Those being:  Clean the house before they get here; and, put my life back together when they leave.  While they are here, my sleeping and eating and every other imaginable routine I have is tossed out the window.
 But, it's always worth it, if for no other reason than to get some of Momma's cooking!

  Also, while they were here, they surprised me with a trip to the local Verizon store and bought me a new phone.  For some reason, the flip phone I've been using for many years is not sufficient anymore.
 I don't know why?  I can usually still hear the people who call me.  Usually.  And, that whole texting new-age mumbo-jumbo?  Bah!  Ok, it was bad.  The younger people at work laugh at me.  Even the old people laugh at me..... starting to see a pattern there.
  So, I now have an i6.
 Have no idea how to use it.  I hear they are great.  I figure I should have it down just about the time the kids are laughing at me again for carrying around that old i6 phone instead of the i88, or whatever
is happening by then.  But, my thoughts are:  If it ain't broke, you're not trying hard enough.... no wait, different one....  hugs

I still have hope

Hello all;
  I was watching the news last night.  A rare night off, I'd taken a vacation day to prepare the house for guests.  I don't often get guests, and mostly it's just me and the dog and she doesn't care if it's a bit messy.  But, I suppose if the needs of decent society must invade my sanctum sanctorum - my little sanitorium, the very least I could do - and never let it be said that I didn't do the very least I could do! - is make it presentable for decent folks.  Now, if only I knew some....
  Anyway, watching the news, watching the city of Baltimore express their anger, outrage, frustration, and in some odd instances their greed and mayhem needs, I sit in awe at history dejavu.  Once again, the foil to their frustration stands the line of police in combat gear and I find myself remembering past images, past days of growth pains:

This picture comes from the growth pains of the 1960's.  The police, standing as the ugly enforcer of a society that doesn't wish to see an aspect of that society as real, equally deserving and respected citizens.  This next picture is far closer to us:

 
  These pictures come from Ferguson, Missouri in 2014, some 50 years after the first picture above.
And finally, this is from Baltimore, last night:
  The difference I see in this picture over the others is the complexion of the skin of the officers.  The uncomfortable sameness I see is, again, citizens finding themselves on the outside of a society - by their own making or by the making of those in the positions of power?? I don't know.
  I don't know the answers.  But, as Jon Stewert mentioned in his show, we don't just go from "everything is fine" to "fire".  There are steps, there are indicators, there are things that are ignored and quite suddenly there is that straw that breaks the backs of those whose anger and frustration with a system comes crashing down and fire erupts.
  But, what drives me utterly nuts, what leaves me wondering how this seems to keep happening is this:

 
  A generation, another generation, and the beginning of a third, know this song.  We know it word for word.  Do we just not understand the words?  Are we just parrots, squawking the sounds around us?  Look at the audience!  Look at the people sing the words.  How are we still having these same problems from when Peter, Paul and Mary first sang this song back in the 1960's?  How can this song be such a part of who we are and yet we are still blind, deaf and dumb to the same things?

The Brown Bowl

 It was just a simple brown bowl.  Ceramic, glazed pottery, not particularly impressive.  Just a simple bowl, and a likely candidate for Spring Cleaning.  I'd thought to give it to Goodwill, sell it in a yard sale in the summer, even toss it out.  Just a simple bowl that seemed to be cluttering up my already cluttered life.
  Perhaps it is from watching my neighbors move on to another home on some other shore, the efforts of the movers to pack up their young lives and possessions.  How much do I have rattling around this home that is not needed, not wanted, but held on to for lack of energy or a willingness to cut these ties?  So much of our lives seems either cluttered with these little trinkets and items of questionable worth, weighing us down, until we are faced with the daunting task of prioritizing what is worthwhile and what is landfill.
  So, I've watched my neighbors move.  Frankly I was fascinated with the process.  The loading of the trucks, hauling this life away to be recreated somewhere else.  I don't know where they went.  We just didn't seem to have the opportunity to get to know each other.  Now they are gone.  All that they owned is now gone but a shell of a home, a lawn of freshly mowed grass and spring tulips and daffodils, greening lilacs and wandering bunches of grape hyacinth no one will clip for a vase on a table.  It seems so transitory.
  And so, I'm back to the bowl.  This simple brown bowl that I've had around for a while but doesn't have much value.  Just another piece of junk weighing down my life with irrelevant junk.  Decision made, I stuffed it into the trash, seeing the maker's mark on the bottom as it went into the can.  In shaking hand I read "Elva 1977".  My heart stopped, my heart stopped!
  Everyday we come to these decisions.  We let things go, we let people go.  We stop paying attention to things, events, even people.  One day they are gone, like those neighbors I didn't get the chance to know, leaving just a memory in their wake as new challenges and new sunsets call.
  And, there is this bowl.  Now in the trash!  Suddenly I'm thinking of the old woman who shaped that bowl, painting it with care and trembling hands as she expressed her art in simple ways.  Who knows the worth of that?  It's hard to quantify, doesn't fit on a ledger form.  I think of this old woman and the smile she had as she looks at her creation, the effort of arthritic hands and aching back, as it comes from the furnace, the simple pride, the simple joy as she signs and dates it.  And, I suddenly remember where I saw that bowl, so long ago, sitting on my Grandmother's table with apples and bananas for us kids.  And, I remember how she would hug us when we came into the house and give us an apple - I always wanted a cookie - and the twinkle she had in her eyes for us.  My Grandmother, Elva.
  Give love, leave something small for those you loved and who love you that they will remember, in bad times, in difficult days, that there was someone who truly loved them.
  Thank you, Grandma.  As you can see, I've found a great use for your bowl.  I love you and miss you.

Perfectionism and the Fear of Criticism

Hello Everyone;
  Last week I came head to head with the concept of perfection and the inherent cost of expecting to have everything right.
 I work as a supervisor in a small plastics injection molding shop.  We are a custom shop, meaning we work for others rather than making things we sell ourselves.  Now, in regard to perfectionism, some would say, my boss one of them, that having it all done right is not that difficult and that at my level of work I should have no excuse to not have it all correct.    For example, if I have managed to get everyone working, have all the machines making great parts, the material is mixed correctly, the color or mold changes met as they come, and kept the place fairly clean, is it reasonable to have someone come at me for something that I've not been able to get to?  Well, that is the environment I've been living under for the last few months, and as a result, I've become tighter and tighter and seeking greater and greater productivity only to find that no matter what I do I will always have left something to drop, handled some problem poorly, have missed some issue somewhere.  And, as a result, I've become more and more stressed by the realization that the owner is just a short time from the door and I will inevitably be criticized for something.
  That is a level of aggravation and frustration that I just don't know how to vent or overcome so easily.  And so, after now being criticized for demanding some things be done the way I want them to be done, what I believe to be the right way, I find myself becoming tyrannical.  You see, in a perfect world, a dictator is the best form of government.  All things are done correctly, changes are handled quickly, adaptations to problems occur immediately.  But, we don't live in a perfect world, and we don't have perfect people working for us, and most importantly, I am not perfect.  I have failed to allow people to perform in their own right and sought instead to control more tightly control their performance.  I become the ballet director who creates a robot assembly rather than a dance of artists.
  So, I now must face the fear of criticism as being my motivation for control and being too tight.

I watched this video, as part of my education and reformation:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQJQyeW-tYM  "The Perils of Perfectionism" by Stefan Molyneux   I plan to watch more of his posts.  I'm not sure that he is the best... see, perfectionism.... but I think he has great things to say.

  I can't help but to feel anxiety writing this post.  It's easy to talk about having done something right, it's easy to talk about the ideals of what we should do, but it is nervy to talk about screwing something up.  The only thing I can say is that I'm likely not alone.  So, if I am making a mess of this, there is likely someone else out there also making a mess of something similar.  So, here is hoping that I am able to help you a bit.
  I will talk about this more as I have opportunity.  I prefer to write about something that I've gotten fairly well figured out.  I'm a babe in the woods on this.  But, I'm going to learn, and I'll tell you about what I find as time goes and I'm able to break bad habits, and I hope you out there will offer your own stories and advice.  My email is on the top of the blog, if you prefer to comment outside the comment area.

anxious hugs.

Some Feel Good Music. Any Favorites?

Hi Everyone!!

  Rough week at work.  I've been pulling double duty, and the stress and hectic nature of trying to managing two jobs at the same time has worn me out!  But, I got home today, after stopping at the store, and took a nice long nap.  Ok... at first I sat down to do a post, then after I woke up slumped across my keyboard and had a page and half of fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff to delete, I went to bed and had another nap.  I got up having left my youtube video's playing, and heard this first song.  What a great way to wake up!

ok, I can think of better ways to wake up.  But, this one was still neat.  So, I scrapped my earlier post idea and thought I'd put down some favorite feel good music.  Do you have any favorites you'd like to see posted?

ok.  fun, right?   here's one where you just really can't take yourself seriously... and I dare you to be walking around the house, in private, and not do something stupid while this song is playing!  LOL!

ok, and to end the music rendition for a moment, a bit of reminder that we all live in a place that crazy stuff happens.  Live your life today, tomorrow isn't promised.  I need to live by those words, but.... well, like most things, so much easier to say that than to do it.

And, finally, this one is for my brother and best friend.  Dance, my brother.   Hugs and loves.

selfie... me and Gracie.

Ok.  I gotta confess.  That's not really Gracie.   

Morning has broken....what are we to do with it?

 

 What a fantastic challenge.  Every day the sun rises and we face a new day full of new challenges.  These are sometimes very trite words.  We miss the importance of them by the repetition of them.  They are cheapened by ubiquity.  Like "I love you", words that seem to be so small at times, so deep at others, and so often we steel our hearts to avoid opening ourselves to the vulnerability of accepting.  What a fantastic challenge to not only care about our self, but to care about others.
  Friday I had a very small problem.  Sort of a messy one, but also one that had me a bit nervous and worried about the future.  My great friend and brother Scottie helped me through, and he did jokingly mention that he let it slip to my parents.... who alternated between the cia waterboarding investigations and wondering why I didn't tell them.  Gee... I wonder.  But, there is also that odd corner of my heart, when you dig under the embarrassment and irritation of being questioned to be thankful that someone even cares enough to ask.  I have a hard time answering those questions, and an even harder time knowing when it is appropriate enough to ask and let people know that I care.
  It's a challenge.  To let a new day bloom, to revel in the day and the joys and even heartbreaks that come, to be so thankful for another day that I can reach out in some sort of way today and make a moment of difference, just a moment!
  So, let another day be a chance for you today to give just a bit of love, make even just a bit of difference to someone today.  And, in the process, allow your heart to be open enough that you can be loved, too.
 Heartfelt Hugs.

Must be still alive

I had an interesting afternoon yesterday.  I have a slight varicose vein problem.  In one spot on my shin I've had a large bruise like thing.  Doctor knows about it.. no big deal.  Anyway, yesterday while reading I itched it... and came away with a wet hand.  Now, you have to imagine this 6'5" somewhat overweight idiot trying to get to the bathroom if for no other reason than to get his bleeding leg off the carpet... all the while hunched over putting pressure on the spot because it was shooting blood two feet. So, now what?  Well, I called my best friend/brother and asked... ok, now what do I do.  It was at that time that I realized the old flip phone is cheap, nearly indestructible, easy to carry, but there is a down side when you only have one hand.  Really folks, I would like to be able to take myself seriously just once...

  So, good news!  I'm fine.  Was able to go in to work last night... and had planned to have a nice quiet night.  Then my material handler dropped a dryer on his head.  It's been one of those weeks.

.

My Response to Scottie's Post

Hello All;
  Scottie asked me to give response to his post about profiteering on the backs of prisoners, both in the form of phone calls and rehab/half-way houses.  Link #1  Link #2   Well, being the jerk that I am, I can't just give a simple response to a simple question.  Of course, the actions noted are obscene.  But, I think there is more to the tale;I think that's where we come to the concept of Forgiveness.
  And, there is a lot to forgive.  You see, there is a certain degree of crime in any society.  It's actually NORMAL.  Not in that it is normal for people to hurt others, but that in any society a certain percentage of the population will break the rules.  The question for any society is what they will do with the people who break their rules.

There is no doubt that the prison population in America has gone up steeply over the last number of years.  In a great part, it is in response to laws that incarcerate people for longer sentences.  Did the rules significantly change?  No, only the consequence for breaking that rule.  Did the change in the consequence for breaking the rule have any significant change in the frequency for breaking the rule?  Ah, now that's the question.  What it did do was create an incredible amount of people in prison, a considerable drag on the productivity of those who now sit in jail cells, not to mention the similar cost of those who must now watch over those who are not allowed to care for themselves.  Staggering numbers of men, women, even children, now behind bars.  Freedom lost in the land of the free, seems somehow a horrible irony.  Incarceration rates are climbing, sentence lengths are climbing, and after prison consequences are becoming more and more onerous.
  I have a number of people working for me who are "ex-cons".  One just got out of prison, and is so very desperately glad to have a job.  Keeps calling me "sir".  With sweat running down his face and hands clenched so tight the blood had fled from them, he began to tell me why he had an electronic tether on his leg.  I told him I didn't care... had to cut him off.  Not my place to judge.  "Come to work on time, do your best to do good work, be good to the people you are working with, and we will get along just fine".  That grown man nearly cried.
  We have somehow become this "Christian Country", if you believe the hype, but despite judging and prosecuting someone for their mistakes and crimes, despite placing them in a prison as punishment, we have decided to remove their humanity as well.  Somehow we have convinced ourselves that a criminal is a horrible person from the moment of incarceration until death and no longer worth consideration as a human being who has lost his way and needs to be brought back onto the path.
   What is the result:  These people are so likely to be back in prison because they are unable to cope with the mounting and debilitating costs of being in a society that places harsher expectations upon those least able to meet them.  But, it's acceptable because these are dirty criminals who deserve any smack in the head that comes their way.  The continuing financial ruin visited upon them, their family, it's somehow justified.
  Is it any wonder we allow some corporations to profit in the most obscene manner upon their misfortune?  We Americans who decided slavery was ok because those were not really people.  We Americans who decided that wholesale butchery of the Native Peoples and stealing their lands was acceptable because they were not really people?  Yep, we same Americans who visit back breaking conditions on normal life issues for the men, women, and children who have broken our rules as well as their families who have the misfortune in life to actually love those dirty law breakers.
  We have and will continue to drive our country into bankruptcy one family at a time because we choose vengeance over love, punishment over education, hate over forgiveness.
  So, somehow I have so soon gone astray from my goal of "nothing painful" in this blog.  Well, let me bring it back to my goal.  Forgiveness.  You see, no matter who we are in life, where we go, we are going to feel hurt.  Pain is a part of life just as joy, and often tells us more than the best gentle nudge or word of loving warning.  Just as the child who falls from his bike may cry from the pain, he has to decide now what to do with himself laying there on the ground.  Does he walk away from the joys inherent in riding his bike, or does he take the pain as a learning tool and with skinned knee jump back on that bike and try it again?  So too must we as a nation look at those people who fall and determine if they are to be walked away from or if we are going to give them love and understanding, a bit of hope and opportunity for change.
  The simple fact is, as a people and as a person, growth is rarely pretty.  It comes with boo-boo's, it comes with mistakes, it comes with the normalcy of screwing up really bad.
  But, that's ok.  It's who we are.  We are going to screw up.  As a person, I screwed up, a lot, and I bet you did too.  Even better, I bet your screw ups were different than mine, but I also bet we screwed up the same things a lot, too.
Lovingly, then, if I have made horrible mistakes, and you have made mistakes, and others have made mistakes and we are all human, why do we accept the abuses of those who wish to profit from those very human mistakes?  Seems down right criminal.

Honest Work.

 Hello everyone.  This edges on the "no bad news" rule, but I say it with a different spin.  I'm not going to talk about how people who are wealthy, working behind a desk making gobs of money are evil and shortsighted, etc.
  I want to tell you about a bit of freedom.  I work at a job right now that is stressful, seems to thrive on the concept that there is no way to actually do it right - someone is going to be pissed off.  On my off hours, of which there are not so very many since I work about 55 hours a week on this "normal" job, I have a small service where I mow lawns.  I don't make a lot of money at it, but I enjoy doing it.  And, mowing lawns pays for the equipment that I eventually will need to do my own lawn, so it's not a horrible activity financially.  But what I really get out of the job:  freedom and satisfaction.
  You see, I get to help people by making their lawn look great.  I'm not a professional, and since I actually bought the house I grew up in, most times I'm mowing the same lawns in my mid-40's that I mowed as a 12-year old kid, hopefully doing a better job now.  But, when I'm done, I can look over the work and be happy.  It looks nice, I've been out in the fresh air, the sunshine, amidst bird song.... and I've gotten paid for it.  Am I a lazy person because I don't have a multimillion dollar business lawn-mowing service, or am I down-right rich because I can actually enjoy working?
  Honest work.  Seems a strange grouping of words.  But, working where you do your best, work constructively, can take pride in your accomplishments and work performed, and know that the work you did helps someone live a happier life; this is my definition of honest work.  I can't see how anyone could look down on that, and I can't see how we should be impressed by anyone who would.
hugs.

Today's dose of puppy/people cuteness.

Hello.   Just a few pics of dogs for your daily dose of good news.  In this good news, no one dies, no one hurts, no one is hungry.  Just a little bit of good news, eh?

I Absolutely Love what this young man is doing.

  This young man is doing some great stuff.  I watched a few of his vids after first seeing it on funsubstance.com.   Nice work Joey Kidney!  Everyone... go subscribe.  

Why do I suddenly feel like swimming?

Oh, shoot... someone already threw him a life ring.  Well... maybe he'll come save me?

Spring is forcing its way through

Hello.  Here in Michigan, we had a fun winter, again, this year.  Not near as cold has the previous winter, not near as much snow, but boy it sure seemed to hang on for a while.
  I grew up on the shores of Lake Michigan.  Spent a fair bit of my errant youth on the beach, which now as an adult I never go to anymore.  Odd how that happens.  But, it gets into your system, like the beach sand gets into the crack of your butt, the cool breezes off the water, the sound of the waves, the mere glance across the lake while driving past on the way to or from work.... I'd miss it terribly if I ever left.  Unless, of course, I was looking at something different that I also loved.
  That brings up a desire to retire by mid-50 in the the woods of Northern Michigan.  Just me, some land large enough that I can step outside in my underwear and not get screamed... or laughs... from the neighbors, and my dogs.  And, yes... I'd have plural:  many dogs.
  So, here are some pictures that tell my story a bit.  They are not mine... I don't have the eye.  Hope they are enjoyable.

This is a picture by a Michigan Photographer named Jason Nowicki.  I'm not sure what he titled the phone, but I think "a perspective of insanity" has a nice ring.   I love the winters, for a while, but there is a limit to how close and personal I want to be!

  I went outside and tried to take a pic of the daffodils flowering in my yard... but, yeah, not a photographer!  Really not.   Mom said these were her favorite flowers when I was growing up, and I've always remembered that.  Everytime I see them I think of her.
 

  So, I mentioned that I would never want to move away from the shores of Lake Michigan.. unless I found something more beautiful to look at.   Welcome to my vision of what that would be.
 

And, this is my puppy.  My therapist.  And, like most good therapist, she's nuts.

So, there is post number two.  Hugs.

First Post

Hello Everyone, and welcome to a new blog.  This first post will be mirrored on the side bar, when I get the chance, but I want to tell you a bit about myself and what makes me want to share things with you.
  I had a small blog before, you can see it in the profile, but I soon found myself feeling overwhelmed by the weight of the negative things going on in the news.  I think I blogged good posts, and I think I gave good opinion on grave topics, but there is a cost to spending time on those things that hurt.  I realized that I was getting some emotional wounding, some emotional baggage, ....  it was making me really sad.   So, one day, I just couldn't handle it anymore and I stepped away from the whole thing.

 And quite poorly done, all the friends I'd made along the way I just stepped away from as well.  For that, I do apologize.  I was sinking into a depression that I was able to fake my way through so I could mostly still operate on a daily basis, but when I sat down in front of my computer I just about cried, screamed, I don' t know what all.  It was overwhelming.
  As time went and I began to feel stronger, more able to see the pain I was in and understand what was going on, I realized what I wanted to do.  I wanted to make a happy place.  I wanted to make a place where I and any who come to the blog can talk about what makes us happy, even in the midst of our despair.  A bit of sunshine in the storm, if you will.

 I wanted to just have a bit of good news in my life, even if I had to generate it myself!
  So, in this blog I will show things that make me smile, give me goose bumps, make me say "wow" or even "whoa!".  I want to share what interests me, with a decidedly good spin.  It might be a bit on the superficial side, but we all deserve a little good news in our lives, don't we?
So, tell me about what makes you feel good, and I'll share with you what makes me feel good.  wow.... that really doesn't sound quite right, does it?
  To tell you more about myself:  I am a gay man who has made a lot of mistakes in life.  So, for the last number of years I've been basically celibate.  I don't have a lot of social interactions, especially on an intimate level, and here in my home it's just me and my dog.  There are times, of course, when I feel quite lonely, and then there are times when I see the anguish that others are going through in their relationships that I believe I've made the right choice.
I don't think I want anyone living in my home with me.  Frankly, even the dog gets on my nerves sometimes!

  I am "white", middle aged, and just smart enough to realize that I am fairly dumb about a lot of things.  I've lived a parochial life in many ways, and a really messed up smash of a life in others.  So, don't be surprised if you read something I've written or posted and you realize that I am completely wrong.  A bit of education won't hurt me... though I may not agree with you.
  I like to cook, as long as the result is edible.  And, that occasionally happens!  I love my dog, obnoxious as she is.  I think guys are sexy, and kids are cute, and sunsets are beautiful, and music makes my soul dance - which is good because my feet are completely useless for the endeavor.  I do like beer, do not like wine, and only drink a bit of rum and coke.  I think nudism is great, and wish I had the courage to be more than an in-house nudist.  No, I'm not naked right now, you can retract that last "ewww!".  I live in Michigan, which makes nudism a humorous activity for us white guys anyway.  And, last for this post but certainly not least in my life, you will likely see a fair bit of commentary coming from one very special person:  my adopted brother Scottie.  He and I adopted each other a few years ago... our parents had nothing to do with it.  So, with all of that said, I bring this together with a big hug - something I've learned from my brother - and call this the first post of a new blog, something that truly does make my heart feel lighter on rough days.